" The burden of loneliness "

I named this article " The burden of loneliness " because I had the sad chance to listen, look and feel,how hard it can be for the lonely women to confront problems, but on the other side I had to admire them for the fighting spirit they have.

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I met Angelica in november 2005. She's 38 years old and she has a daughter of 12 years old. She's divorce since 1999. Angelica doesn't have any brother or sister. She was raised by her mother and she never met her father. The first time I went in her house, I met her mother, an older women, sick, immobilized in bed, and also Angelica's daughter Daiana . Angelica was working. I talked a little bit with Mrs. Maria to find a few things about their situation and I left saying that I’ll return later to meet her daughter.
After I met Angelica I had found new information about their situation,and I was impressed by her fighting character and her optimism. She was left by her husband approximately 6 years ago. Since then, Angelica was taking care of her sick mother and her little girl, also with health problems.
This family extremely quickly attached on me and I was considerated part of the family. Even if my social worker statute doesn't aloud a closer relationship with the family, I couldn’t keep the professional distance that my job imposes, because of the big emotional needs of this persons.
Every time I visited them, Mrs.Maria was felt each day worsen and worsen but even so, she was crying of joy and she was keep telling me that I’m like her daughter and that she is glad that now Angelica has a sister. I enjoyed staying near her and hold her cold hands in my hands, worm them, and listen to her, and discovered how in sickness and terrible pains she was trying to stand up in bed so she could talk to me. I often taught her from the bible and we used to pray together. We spent such beautiful moments together and neither the age nor the sickness did stop us to develop a beautiful relationship. Beside Mrs. Maria, was Angelica with her daughter, Daiana, all wanting to be hold and to be comfort. Each time I felt in my heart all the pain, the loneliness and the daily struggle for survival.
As time pass by, Mrs.Maria illness was getting worse until one day, when I was visiting her and she couldn’t speak to me anymore. She slept most of the time and she was lucid only a few times all day long. Then one day I got a text message on the phone from Angelica saying that her mother died the night before. I felt so sorry, but in the same time I was relief that all the suffering that Mrs. Maria faced each day was over. Also, I had peace in my heart because I thought she reconciled with God before she died and this is the most wonderful thing.
I visited Angelica, to see how she was doing and to ask if there is anything I can do to help her. I found her alone at home, I looked to the bed where Mrs.Maria used to stay and I couldn’t believe that was empty.
Then Angelica told me how worry she was for Daiana and how she wanted to send Daiana a few days to someone so she wouldn’t be home when her grandmother would die. She was telling me how she was praying each night down to her knees, crying and asking God to ”fit the things how He knows the best” and really and truly God fit them in a wonderful way. Angelica was called from L.S.I and she was asked if she doesn’t want to send Daiana for a week to the sea, all the expensive being supported by them. This was the answer to Angelica’s prayers and tears. Daiana went to the seaside and Angelica stayed near her mother. In that week while Daiana was gone, Mrs.Maria went to a coma and finally deceased. Exactly at that time near Angelica were 2 of her co-workers who offer her the emotional support that she needed so much. At the funeral day I went to Angelica's and Daiana's home to be with them in this difficult moment.
All the time I spent with them I’ve notice and I felt a deep pain seeing how lonely Angelica was and how she had to face all the problems that appeared. About 40 people attended at the funeral, from which only 4,5 were relative. What impressed me really hard was that only her godfather stayed near Angelica and offer his arm for support, the other relative stayed to the edge. At the end of the funeral Angelica invited all to came home for dinner .At one moment I saw her that she is agitated and upset and I went to talked to her. She said to me: “Ildi please come home with me because my relative won’t come and they let me go home alone”. She had to insist so much that they come at least 10min. Finally they went at Angelica's home but as they promis but they didn't stayed only a little bit and they didn't offered their sympathy and comfort.

I was impressed by the fact that when I left she came to me and she thank me because I hold her in my arms so she could cry. My gesture which seemed so natural for me, for her meant so much. This thing make me realize how lonely she is. Was very nice from some people to cancel their program to be there to help angelica as much as they could.
Unfortunately, Angelica's case is not the only one. There are many cases like this, even if these women's have relatives they feel lonely and overburden, because their relatives think that their comfort is threat and they don't want to complicate with them. It's sad what is happening, but is amazing how all the problems convert this women into such a braveheart persons, which surmounts difficulties of their lives.